Jeanette and Alexander Toczko died in each other’s arms only hours apart from each other after 75 years of marriage. The wife told her husband as he died, “Wait for me, I’ll be there soon.”
They knew their story wasn’t ending. The love married partners share is more than some chemical interaction; it’s the fullest expression of the dynamic, living marriage of love and wisdom in all creation.
The Spiritual Meaning of Marriage
Will people no longer be married after death? That doesn’t feel right, and that’s for a good reason – it isn’t right. We have a natural intuition that marriage is eternal.
Within every love there is the potential for both fear and pain—fear that the love may die, and pain if it does… Marriage love brings bliss to the souls of partners, happiness to their minds, gladness to their chests, and pleasure to their bodies. Since these benefits continue to eternity, there can be anxiety about the eternal happiness of both partners.Marriage Love 371
But doesn’t Jesus Christ say there’s no marriage in heaven?
“At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven” (Matthew 22:30) (NIV)
He says similar things in Mark 12:25 and Luke 20:34-36, but He’s talking about spiritual marriages. This isn’t about the marriage between two souls, as in earthly relationships, but instead about the marriage of love and wisdom, like the marriage of Christ and His church.
A spiritual wedding is a connection with the Lord, and this connection can happen on earth. When it does happen on earth it is happening in heaven as well, and so in heaven the wedding is not happening, nor are they given in marriage, all over again.Marriage Love 41
We develop our connection to God while on earth, marrying love and wisdom in our spirits through our choices and intentions here on earth. We begin the process of becoming angels in this world.
If we don’t start it here, we don’t get a jump start once we cross over. We are what we love and our love leads us to our spiritual home, and we develop what we love while alive in this fallen world.
God’s love for love
God is the marriage of love and wisdom. And so God wants people to stay together forever. Married love between two people is a reflection of that marriage. It is inherently eternal; so just as our lives are eternal because of the life flowing in from the Lord, so too is married love.
True marriage love is nothing more nor less than the joining together of love and wisdom, and two married partners who share this love between and within them become an image or form of this connection.Marriage Love 65
Since God created this kind of love, God has prepared the world just to make it possible.
To anyone who longs for true marriage love the Lord provides compatibility. If it does not happen on earth, then he provides for it in the heavens. This is because all marriages based on true marriage love are arranged by the Lord.Marriage Love 229
Nobody will be lonely for eternity.
So what is marriage in heaven like?
Marriages in the heavens are not the same as marriages on earth. In the heavens there are spiritual weddings that should not be called weddings but unions of minds, because of the union of the good and the true. On earth, though, there are weddings, because they concern not only the spirit but the flesh as well.
Further, since there are no weddings in the heavens, two spouses there are not called husband and wife, but because of the angelic concept of the union of two minds into one, each spouse is identified by a word that means “belonging to each other.”Heaven and Hell 382b
What does God have planned for married spouses in heaven?
- A deepening of their love forever. As married partners grow stronger in love, they can almost become a single individual.
- Joy and delight forever. Every good and pure thing about love only grows, so the relationship becomes a source of boundless joy.
- Shared creativity. Married couples experience a shared creativity in their married life in heaven, and are able to express love by working together to help others.
The joy of this shared usefulness that filters directly down into the pleasure and delight of love-making for couples. So sex does exist in heaven, but it won’t result in children. Instead, there are spiritual offspring.
Through their ultimate satisfaction, two married partners are more and more closely united in a marriage of goodness and truth. The marriage of goodness and truth is a marriage of love and wisdom, and love and wisdom are the offspring born of such a marriage.Marriage Love 44
Even though there’s no reproduction in heaven, you can still have kids. Even in heaven, there’ll be children looking for families. Anyone who wants a family can have one.
Happily married couples will remain married in heaven, and those who want to be married will still find love in heaven. This kind of love is the ultimate expression of the power of god and the marriage of love and wisdom in the world.
So even now we can begin this eternal process by marrying goodness and truth in ourselves now. This simply means seeking love in all we do and taking actions for love.
You can continue your study with our News From Heaven episode Only Some Married Partners Stay Together After Death.
And for extras on this topic from the offTheLeftEye team listen to the related Inside offTheLeftEye podcast episode: After Death Communication and Swedenborg’s Publishing Gap.