Are you still married in heaven? Jeanette and Alexander Toczko thought so. They died in each other’s arms only hours apart from each other after 75 years of marriage. The wife told her husband as he died, “Wait for me, I’ll be there soon.”
They knew their story wasn’t over. They loved each other deeply on earth, and trusted that their love would continue into eternal life.
Will there be romantic relationships in heaven?
Our desire for a soul mate is not just a biological drive to procreate – we have a natural intuition that love is eternal. Our longing for this love is a part of our spiritual lives. It is the fullest expression of the dynamic, living marriage of love and wisdom in all creation. Our earthly relationships are a reflection of this powerful connection.
Married love originates from the marriage between goodness and truth, and this marriage comes from the Lord.Emanuel Swedenborg, Marriage Love 180
But doesn’t Jesus Christ say there’s no marriage in heaven?
“At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven” (Matthew 22:30) (NIV)
He says similar things in Mark 12:25 and Luke 20:34-36, but He’s talking about spiritual marriages. Earthly marriage is a symbol of the marriage of love and wisdom, like the marriage of Christ and His church (talked about symbolically in Revelation 19). It is that marriage of love and wisdom that creates a spiritual marriage.
A spiritual wedding is a connection with the Lord, and this connection can happen on earth. When it does happen on earth it is happening in heaven as well, and so in heaven the wedding is not happening, nor are they given in marriage, all over again.Emanuel Swedenborg, Marriage Love 41
We develop our connection to God while on earth. We marry love and wisdom to each other in our spirits through our choices and intentions. It is this marriage within our hearts and minds that leads us to become angels in heaven. We are what we love, and what we love leads us to our spiritual home.
God’s Love for Love
God is the marriage of love and wisdom. Married love between two people is a reflection of that marriage.
True marriage love is nothing more nor less than the joining together of love and wisdom, and two married partners who share this love between and within them become an image or form of this connection.Emanuel Swedenborg, Marriage Love 65
Since God created this kind of love, God has prepared the world to make it possible. Nobody will be lonely for eternity.
A Soul Mate Match
So what is marriage in heaven like? Can you get married in heaven, even if you weren’t married on earth? Yes! Everyone who wants a spiritual marriage will have one. We will find a soul mate if that is what we want, someone who we can love and grow with to eternity.
To anyone who longs for true marriage love the Lord provides compatibility. If it does not happen on earth, then he provides for it in the heavens. This is because all marriages based on true marriage love are arranged by the Lord.Emanuel Swedenborg, Marriage Love 229
Married couples in heaven experience a deepening love forever. Their relationship brings them lasting joy and delight. Part of this is through shared creativity. They express their love by working together to help others.
To learn what happens to spouses in heaven and whether you reunite with your spouse in heaven see our show Only Some Married Partners Stay Together After Death and to learn more about marriage in the afterlife and who your soul mate will be see our show How You Will Find Your Soul Mate After Death.
Is there sex in heaven?
The joy of shared usefulness among couples in heaven filters directly down into the pleasure and delight of love-making. So sex does exist in heaven, but it won’t result in children. Instead, there are spiritual offspring.
Through their ultimate satisfaction, two married partners are more and more closely united in a marriage of goodness and truth. The marriage of goodness and truth is a marriage of love and wisdom, and love and wisdom are the offspring born of such a marriage.Emanuel Swedenborg, Marriage Love 44
Even though there’s no reproduction in heaven, you can still have kids. Even in heaven, there will be children looking for families. Anyone who wants a family can have one.
Marriage in heaven is for everyone who wants lasting joy, love, and connection. This kind of love is the ultimate expression of the power of God and the marriage of love and wisdom.
We can begin this eternal process by marrying goodness and truth in ourselves now, whether we marry in this world or not. This simply means seeking wise love in all we do and taking actions in alignment with that love.
And for extras on this topic from the Off The Left Eye team, listen to the related Inside Off The Left Eye podcast episode: After Death Communication and Swedenborg’s Publishing Gap.