Are you still married in heaven? Jeanette and Alexander Toczko thought so. They died in each other’s arms only hours apart from each other after 75 years of marriage. The wife told her husband as he died, “Wait for me, I’ll be there soon.” 

They knew their story wasn’t over. They loved each other deeply on earth, and trusted that their love would continue into eternal life.

Will there be romantic relationships in heaven?

Our desire for a soul mate is not just a biological drive to procreate – we have a natural intuition that love is eternal. Our longing for this love is a part of our spiritual lives. It is the fullest expression of the dynamic, living marriage of love and wisdom in all creation. Our earthly relationships are a reflection of this powerful connection.

Married love originates from the marriage between goodness and truth, and this marriage comes from the Lord.

Emanuel Swedenborg, Marriage Love 180

But doesn’t Jesus Christ say there’s no marriage in heaven? 

“At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven” (Matthew 22:30) (NIV)

He says similar things in Mark 12:25 and Luke 20:34-36, but He’s talking about spiritual marriages. Earthly marriage is a symbol of the marriage of love and wisdom, like the marriage of Christ and His church (talked about symbolically in Revelation 19). It is that marriage of love and wisdom that creates a spiritual marriage.

A spiritual wedding is a connection with the Lord, and this connection can happen on earth. When it does happen on earth it is happening in heaven as well, and so in heaven the wedding is not happening, nor are they given in marriage, all over again.

Emanuel Swedenborg, Marriage Love 41

We develop our connection to God while on earth. We marry love and wisdom to each other in our spirits through our choices and intentions. It is this marriage within our hearts and minds that leads us to become angels in heaven. We are what we love, and what we love leads us to our spiritual home.

God’s Love for Love

God is the marriage of love and wisdom. Married love between two people is a reflection of that marriage.

True marriage love is nothing more nor less than the joining together of love and wisdom, and two married partners who share this love between and within them become an image or form of this connection.

Emanuel Swedenborg, Marriage Love 65

Since God created this kind of love, God has prepared the world to make it possible. Nobody will be lonely for eternity.

A Soul Mate Match

So what is marriage in heaven like? Can you get married in heaven, even if you weren’t married on earth? Yes! Everyone who wants a spiritual marriage will have one. We will find a soul mate if that is what we want, someone who we can love and grow with to eternity.

To anyone who longs for true marriage love the Lord provides compatibility. If it does not happen on earth, then he provides for it in the heavens. This is because all marriages based on true marriage love are arranged by the Lord.

Emanuel Swedenborg, Marriage Love 229

Married couples in heaven experience a deepening love forever. Their relationship brings them lasting joy and delight. Part of this is through shared creativity. They express their love by working together to help others.

To learn what happens to spouses in heaven and whether you reunite with your spouse in heaven see our show Only Some Married Partners Stay Together After Death and to learn more about marriage in the afterlife and who your soul mate will be see our show How You Will Find Your Soul Mate After Death.

Is there sex in heaven?

The joy of shared usefulness among couples in heaven filters directly down into the pleasure and delight of love-making. So sex does exist in heaven, but it won’t result in children. Instead, there are spiritual offspring.

Through their ultimate satisfaction, two married partners are more and more closely united in a marriage of goodness and truth. The marriage of goodness and truth is a marriage of love and wisdom, and love and wisdom are the offspring born of such a marriage.

Emanuel Swedenborg, Marriage Love 44

Even though there’s no reproduction in heaven, you can still have kids. Even in heaven, there will be children looking for families. Anyone who wants a family can have one.

Summary

Marriage in heaven is for everyone who wants lasting joy, love, and connection. This kind of love is the ultimate expression of the power of God and the marriage of love and wisdom. 

We can begin this eternal process by marrying goodness and truth in ourselves now, whether we marry in this world or not. This simply means seeking wise love in all we do and taking actions in alignment with that love.

To learn about Emanuel Swedenborg, whose nearly thirty years of open communication with the spiritual world informs this content, see this short video or read about his life and work here.

And for extras on this topic from the Off The Left Eye team, listen to the related Inside Off The Left Eye podcast episode: After Death Communication and Swedenborg’s Publishing Gap.

10 comments

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  • What does God have in mind for us, there are so many ppl. What does He have in mind for us? What are we going to be doing?

    • Think of all the good and enjoyable things there are to do on earth, and then multiply that by a million or more! On earth, there are all sorts of situations that block us from doing what we truly love to do, but in the afterlife, those limitations will be gone. There will be endless ability to find interesting ways to creatively contribute to society in a way that shares information, healing, care and love. Swedenborg said only a few of those kinds of tasks and activities are things we can imagine from an earthly point of view. Many activities in heaven are things we can’t imagine till we get there. But they all have to do with making life better for others, which in turn brings more blessings and joy into our own lives. For some idea about life in heaven, watch our episode “A Day in the Life of An Angel” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3BmPm7DPv0&t=3s

  • A lot of this new information about marriage in Heaven comes from the writings of Emanuel Swedenborg, who was a late 18th century theologian and writer. My question is this: If Swedenborg was a contemporary of our Founding Fathers, and his works have been around for more than 200 years, why is so little known about him? My father has been a spirit-filled Evangelical Christian for forty years, and when I mentioned Swedenborg to him he had no idea who I was talking about. Most church pastors are clueless. Was there a cover-up of his works in the 19th or early 20th century? There is such a wealth of wisdom and truth in what this man teaches that I find it odd that the church would bury it.

    • Hello, Bob! Excellent question. The fact that Swedenborg’s books have been slow to become more widely known seems to be a combination of actual suppression of those writings, and then also simple lack of interest. While Swedenborg was still on earth, there were actual efforts by some to discourage influential people from reading or approving of them. Lutheranism was a state religion in Sweden at the time, and at one point Swedenborg’s books were even put on trial because they were considered heretical. But also, there were barely any readers interested in diving into the books at the time Swedenborg was publishing, and Swedenborg reports that this made angels both surprised and sad. By the middle of the 19th century Swedenborg was actually getting pretty well known in educated circles, but then in the early 20th century Christianity was pushing back against spiritualist movements, and Swedenborg’s works seem to have gotten pushed out of the communities of religious thought. However, when growth of awareness grows slowly, I think it can have more staying power in the end. With the emergence of the near-death experience literature, and other acknowledgements of the legitimacy of spiritual experiences, Swedenborg’s books are becoming more and more of a crucial bridge between spirituality and religion, and interest is growing. So I think it has all been happening under the care of Divine Providence. Here is a short clip from one of our Q&A episodes in which our panelists discuss the question “Why Isn’t Swedenborg More Well Known?” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hle_0cLbCJQ&t=5s And here is a full length episode exploring the effects of Swedenborg’s books on modern culture through various influencers in the 19th century: “Swedenborg’s Influence Game Show” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZ20NPJk2_Q&t=1292s

  • Without a doubt,…I KNOW that there will be ‘Marriage in Heaven’, Spiritual or otherwise, and I will once again be reunited with my beloved wife, because Jesus PROMISED that “He will wipe away every tear from our eyes” (Revelation 21:4) when I get there! Here on earth, these tears of mine flow EVERY DAY from the sheer loneliness of not being by the side of the most beautiful woman I have ever known, who past away from breast cancer! As it was written, so let it be done!

    • Ronald, my heart aches for your painful loss. I’m so glad you have confidence in the Lord’s promise that your heart will be healed in heaven, and that you will be reunited with your beloved wife. We are sending much love to you, and wishing you healing and peace! 💕

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